Finally - Me on River City... ONLINE.

I dont think there's anything else to say except...

PEOPLE NOT PROFIT.

Buses... You Annoy Me.

Something that always seems to find a way to annoy me is the buses in Dundee. They've always been late. I've come to accept that fact. However they're roughly late by the same amount everytime, so you can roughly predict when they're gonna arrive. When if you're sad and get far too many buses like me. The thing that annoys me is the fact they feel the need to change the timetable every few months and ruin all my hard work. It'd be like if you were suddenly told the 2 times table was now 2x anything and add 1. It doesnt make sense and is very annoying, but it's not particularly difficult to work out so you don't really have any reaswon to complain. Well no legitamite reason people would listen to and not think you were just a grumpy old fucker.
Recently however my favourite bus company, Travel Dundee (only my favourite because they put a bus stop right outside my house) have decided to mix up their buses entirely. They've kept my best bus, the 9X, but weirdly changed it's name to the 5A or 5B. I've not managed to work out why yet, except to make the machine that tell you bus times call it a fivah or a five billion. I doubt anyone in the council are that childish though. They seem too dull to have thought about it. Anyway, the main problem I have with the new bus schedule is that all the buses only run in one direction. I dont know if it's clockwise or anticlockwise, I live in Dundee not a giant circle. But this means I can no longer get the bus to the cinema. It upsets me. I suppose I could walk, but a nice 40 minute jog through Douglas is hardly my favourite option, especially in winter. Or I could get the bus into town and get another one to the odeon from there... but they've put the bus prices up by about 50p. So thats out of the question. I shouldnt complain. It's mainly my own fault for being lazy and cheap. But I feel like a kid who's parents have taken away one of it's toys. Not it's favourite toy. They probably thought I didnt like it because I only played with it about twice a month. But now it's gone I miss it, and I want it back so I can ignore it until I need it again. I'm such a user. Of buses.



Just on another bus note. I've recently been having trouble getting on for a student fare. I've shown them my student card, but they claim I can't use it and tell me to pay adult fare. Everytime this happens I feel furious and cheated. I have a card, I have the right of cheap buses! But then again my card looks like this:

(ps. If you can read the information on the card, please feel free to steal my identity/stalk me. But be aware it gives away less than my facebook page, due to the lack of photo. Well unless I actually look like that and I havent noticed. That'd be... worrying.)

i want to die.

NO.



just no. this is a travesty. its the worst thing i've ever seen.

starts off with her singing. i thought it would just be another boring but nicely sung version of the song. Just without the nicely sung part. But then... DIRTY BIT.

She laughs like a child and the beat kicks in. The most boring generic dance beat ever. And she sings auld lang syne over it. Then she stops. And sings "happy new year baby". Then does the chorus again. I was ashamed to be Scottish. I thought I wanted to die then, watching this plump forgotten singer from the 90s/early 2000s ruin one of the best Scottish songs ever by turning it into a shite party tune with a background of fireworks which look like they could be the screensaver on my computer. But i had no idea what was to come. I should've turned it off right then cause what happened next makes me want to hunt down mariah carey and do things so bad I'd need to put an explicit warning on this blog.

She says "hahaha, does anybody really know the words?" And she says it like "Of course. No-one knows the words. We all know that. Why would we bother to learn the words?" Well guess what? I KNOW THE WORDS. Fucking everyone in Scotland knows the words. Fuck you, you american bitch. You think one of our national classics, written down by the greatest Scottish poet ever and before he wrote it down, it was a folk tune for centuries, is just some quaint little party anthem, in the same vain as "can't touch me" and "dont stop me now". You do not get to laugh and say "How silly is this?". Oh and if this wasn't bad enough, cause she "doesnt know the words" she makes up her own words. Now I wonder if these can trump ours...

"Happy New Year to you and your friends
And have a drink on me
Happy New Year to you and have a drink on me
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH AH AH (shrilly and high pitched)
10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

No. No, they can't. I'm shocked.

Normally, i'm all up for a modern interpretation of old classics. Listen to runrig's cover of Loch Lomond. That is a TUNE. But no, i wont stand for this. This just takes one of my favourite songs and rips it to shreds. It's what the English would think if the Crazy Frog covered God Save The Queen or for americans if "Star Spangled Banner was performed by Jedward. I want to be physically sick. Sorry for subjecting you to this.

I'm a terrible person...

After complaining so much about Jason Derulo's stupid cards, I decided to do one for a laugh. But about half way through i realized I was enjoying myself.

I am sick.

What If Jason was good...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qQCx9mxV9g&feature=channel

Have you ever noticed how unbelievably bad Jason Derulo's acting is at the start of this song?
Watch it.

"I got it"
"No babe, I got it"

His line sounds like it was spoken by a child actor. Like 3 or 4 years old. And they seem to have employed the only actress who would make him look good at it. Its like when people got asked to read out plays in school and they werent trying. Oh Jacob Derulo.

Also, at the moment you can send a JD song as a valentines gift. So you can choose from:

In My Head - A song about fantasizing about having a one night stand.
Whatcha Say - An apology for cheating.
Ridin Solo - About how he's so happy to be single
What If - A song i've ever listened to the lyrics of. But from the video it seems to be about him wishing he never met the girl. And that they were really bad actors.

How romantic.

Amnesia

Maybe you've heard of a game called Amnesia? It's made by a small developer not a big corporation and downloadable from steam. It's supposed to be a terrifying experiance. You play as a man with no memory trying to escape a castle with many dark areas which slowly drain your sanity and shadowy monsters chase you down, and you have no way to fight them.

Now, the point of the no weapons is to make the game apparently scarier. If you cant fight the monsters all you can do is run and their threat is increased, as well as making it more realistic, cause seriously, if you were getting attacked by monsters, you would run. My problem is that with no weapons this stops being a good game. It's an experiance i'll admit. But is it a good game?

I dont think so. I play games to do things i couldn't do in real life. You play GTA so you can steal cars and pick up hookers. You play Need For Speed so you can drive in high speed races and drive cars you could never afford. You play Fifa to play as some of the best teams in the world. Obviously, i dont meet a lot of monsters. But i'm very capable of running away. I dont want my game avatar to be as weak as me. I want him to be able to fight back, and shoot these creeps in the face to teach them not to fuck with me.

So i got bored of running away in the dark, and picked up a chair to see if i could fight anyone. But i looked around for ages and i couldnt find the monster chasing me. In fact I stood still for 10 minutes and this was all i saw:

I think the terror of a game about running away from monsters is lost when they cant fucking find you. Amnesia is one game i'd like to forget.

(i'm sorry. that pun was awful)

Turlough. Fuckin leetest guy ever. Even though he looks like a shit football manager.