30 Day Catch-Up. Days 4/5/6

I haven't really been doing these days when I've been meant to, so now the podcast is finished with we can catch up to where we should be. Luckily these 3 days are quite short due to me not having a lot to say about them. So lets dive right in with:

DAY 4: YOUR VIEWS ON RELIGIONLook back to my Easter Blog to get a rant about religion which gives the idea of my views. I think if it makes you happy then you can believe what you want, but don't try and tell me you're right. I don't really have a lot more to say about it really. My view of religion is simple, but at least it's clear. I don't believe in anything like God, and even if a god did exist then you shouldn't need to worship them because if they have an ego that big that everyone has to, then they don't deserve your praise.

DAY 5: A TIME YOU THOUGHT ABOUT ENDING YOUR OWN LIFEI haven't. But if I had I'd hardly post it up here so everyone I know can see it. If you've felt that way it should be private, between you and anyone you choose to tell, and whoever came up with this day's idea is an insensative prick. But, I did deliberately faint to get out of P.E. once, maybe that's good enough?

DAY 6: WRITE 30 INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT YOURSELFDepends what your idea of interesting is. Here are 30 facts. You can decide if they're interesting.
1. One of my favourite films is Men In Black 2.
2. I own all the big Hollywood Batman and Superman films.
3. I never had a home console til I was 14.
4. I was on River City.
5. I know all the words to Sexual Healing and sing it on rides at the carnival.
6. I also know all the words to Jump In My Car which is odd because just the other day I got told I look like David Hasselhoff.
7. I'm watching Red Dwarf while I write this.
8. I currently smell of vinegar because I was trying to take stickers off my dvd's.
9. I've seen every episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
10. I have a rap about me.
11. The rap's about the time I had it off in The Shore toilets.
12. I threw an egg out a 8th floor window yesterday.
13. I seem to be immune to alcohol.
14. I was on River City.
15. I used to be in a band. We were pretty poor.

And there's more. More than 15 more. But I'm bored writing them so I'm sure you're bored reading them, and I don't want to bore you.

The CG and Lewis Bage Podcast Part 3 + Day 3

That's the final part of The Box Podcast. BUT, never fear. There's an extra 12 minute podcast already made for your listening pleasure. That'll be up in due course, putting it up now might be a bit too much in whole go for your fragile minds to handle.

Unfortunately I've been a busy boy for the last few days what with the Royal Wedding, my appearance on LTWW Season 2, and various nights out I haven't planned. So I've fallen behind on the 30 day challenge. But now it's time to catch up.

Day 3: Your views on alcohol and drugs
I'm now 18. So my view on alcohol has changed from "ooh, forbidden drink! it must be good!" to an actual opinion. I would like it. It makes people do stupid things and behave terribly, but I don't think there's anything wrong with being an idiot every so often. If you need alcohol to have a good time then you're doing something wrong, but if it just makes the fun times even better I don't see any crime in that. But my major problem with alcohol is that it doesn't work anymore.

I used to have half a bottle of vodka and my head would be swimming my thoughts would be all blurry and I'd be falling about all over the place, but it doesn't happen anymore. I don't think i've been drunk in about 3 months. I just drink huge amounts, get at most tipsy then get bored because everyone is a lot drunker than I am. For instance, today was the Royal Wedding and  we did a drinking game. Everyone was very drunk, BB shouted at randoms in the street, Tara collapsed into a pile, and I had a lot of fun, but I would have had the exact same amount of fun if I was sober. Alcohol added nothing. I walked the streets of Dundee in a womens almost fur coat, scarf, hat and shades, but I'd be perfectly happy to do that sober. All that happens now is my head feels a bit blurry. But my mind still works completely fine. Which is disappointing, I want to get drunk so I'm a mess. But what does that say about me? My last proper drunk night, I stole a jacket and phone from a house and just left them lying in town, puked out the door of a moving taxi and almost had sex with my friend's mum. And that sounds fun, I'd like more nights like that. Unfortunately, I don't remember it.

Drugs, though. I'm not embarassed to admit I've done some light drugs. But I must not have done enough, because I've never felt any different after doing them. So, at the moment I don't see the appeal and I'm not going to inject myself with smack to find out what it is. So I don't have an opinion, except weed pizza was the cause of the Box Podcast, so it should never be legalized or everyone'll stuck in a box. And we can't have that.

The CG and Lewis Bage Podcast Part 2 + Day 2

The second part of our podcast. It's all the same thing, but youtube seemed disgusted with the idea of me uploading more than 15 minutes at a time so I had to split it into 3 parts. The warning from yesterday still applies.

Also, I've unfortunately missed the deadline for the 30 day thing, but do you really care? I don't. Only means there'll be two today instead of just one.


DAY 2: Where You'd Like To Be In 10 Years
Hmmm, that's an interesting question. In 10 years I'll be 28. So I'll need to have something going for me. I'm guessing this is where you'd realistically like to be, not I'd like to be King of The World and have Will Smith as the jester in my court. So yes. At 28, following yesterday's question, I'd like to have a long term girlfriend. I don't know whether I'd like to be married by then, depends on the girl, but I seriously doubt I'll want to have children. Much as I think it'd be better for kids to have young parents, within reason, not 12, I really can't see myself settling down that much in the next 10 years. But you never know.

I'd like to still talk to my good friends, and make more as well, I'm a glutton for social interaction. I never sit about in my house when I can go out and hopefully I still have plenty of people who'll put up with me hanging around with them and being annoying. I also want to be healthier and to be more knowledgable in the things that interest me, namely film. But these are just general musings, the big one is what I'd like to be doing. And I'm not sure.

I'd like to do something media-related. I'm going to apply every year to drama schools to see whether I can get in, but I don't know if this is do-able. If not, I'd like to go into the business of making films. I don't know a lot about it at the moment, mainly due to my lack of funds for a video-camera. But I'd like to continue making my short videos, then move onto short films, and so on. I know it might seem a bit stupid, but I like planning the look and sound of videos, but right now, I don't have the right equipment to do anything particularly impressive. But in the next 10 years I hope this changes, and maybe I can team up to make some sketches and films with my friend Lewis who's becoming an engineer of sound, whatever that is.

The CG and Lewis Bage Podcast + Day 1.

Here's part 1 of The Box Podcast. Parts 2 and 3 will be up daily this week.

WARNING. This video was made in summer 2010 while we were on some substances which for legal reasons I can't disclose. So it's very surreal. If you feel yourself losing your mind then I apologise. I also apoligise to Matt McDevitt, Pirate Chris, Fat Niall, Stooart Mitchell, Joeface, Jamaicans, Gordon Brown, Sean Connery, Gays, The Chinese, and anyone else we insult in the podcast. And when I say we, I mean me. I'm about as offensive as I can be and still be able to upload without getting arrested for hate-crime. So have a listen. Lewis and I are planning a proper podcast which won't just be us having a chat you don't understand soon, so don't write that off because of the horrors of what you'll hear on this.


And now onto the promised first day of the 30 day challenge. Almost out of time, in the last hour of the day.

Day 1: Your current relationship, if single then discuss how single life is.
Well, I am indeed single. Now I need to discuss it. Well, I could say that it gives me the freedom to sleep around and party ever night. But since I don't really do those things, I can't say that. I do like the freedom though. If I want to go to the pub with my mates, then I can. If I want to do stupid things with girls that made my past girls jealous, then I can. If I just want to sit about and watch Superman 2, then I can, and currently am. But to be honest I don't have a lot to compare it to. I've had girlfriends before, but never for any significant period of time. Some girls have broken up with me, and I don't blame them, I'm an idiot, but it did bug me for about a couple of days, then I manned up and moved on, I ain't the soppy sort. But my main problem is I break up with girls. Lots of people do that, but I never have a reason. Just after about a month or two, I get bored and feel the need to move on. I don't understand it, some of them have been perfectly nice. But then some of them were stalkers. But that's a story for another time. So, yeah, I don't know what it would be like to be in a longterm relationship, but I think it would be pretty boring. I prefer to just see who's about where I go. It's not a particularly good strategy, as most people I see I already know, but occasionally in the pit of despair that is Fat Sams I'll meet someone nice. Whatever happens, I'm happy the way I am.

30 Day Challenge

Like the new Doctor Who needs a story arc, my blog's needing a running feature. Well, it's not. I've got more views than ever and except for my Robocop obsession, nothing is connected at all. But whatever, it's my blog I can do what I like.

So prepare to jump on the bandwagon and like nearly all the blogs I read, I'm going to do this 30 day challenge. I'd explain what it is, but if from the picture you can't work it out... then you're an idiot.

Check back tomorrow evening for Day 1.

The Late Easter Blog

Apparently today's Easter monday. I haven't heard the Easter story in a few years having left school and not getting forced into awkwardly religious assemblies. But from what I remember I can't see why Easter monday exists. Jesus "allegedly" came back to life on Sunday, what more could he on the monday to top that? Maybe he just had a bitchin' party. I would if I was resurrected.

As you can probably guess from that, I don't believe the Easter story, but that doesn't mean I'm against Easter. Any excuse to get free chocolate from the parents is welcome. To be honest, when I have my own kids I'll hate it, but for the moment, I haven't got a problem. But it did make me think. As with most people, I used to go to school. And every year, we'd have an assembly at Christmas and Easter telling us the Christian stories about them. And I know that's supposedly the reason behind them, but take Christmas. It's on the same date as old pagan festivals. Then it moved on to Christianity. And now it's moving on again. We still celebrate, and give each other presents, but it's celebrating a season of goodwill, which although more abstract is a far better idea than worshipping some deity. We're celebrating the best about ourselves, when we can come together and have fun. That's fine.

It just annoy me that every year we have the same old Christian stories forced on us. Schools are supposed to be non-denominational, right? Well telling everyone how Jesus rose from the grave like it's a fact and not just a belief isn't very non-denominational. Of course, the argument back is that if you don't believe you can opt out, but that's not the point. There shouldn't be something you have to opt out from. I don't have a problem with people believing this stuff, even though I personally think it's bull. If they want to, you can't stop them, and neither should you try to. But I don't need to hear about it every year. I'm not even saying there should be mass celebrations of Ramadan or other religions events  like that, because 1. There are so many that it'd get out of hand and 2. They would just seperate people more. There just shouldn't be religious events at non-religious places. Sure, celebrate Jesus in church, but don't make me sing hymns at my primary school.

This was a bit serious, i'll post something silly next, but it just annoys me. Just imagine if I lived in America. With all the die-hard religious nuts there, I think I'd have a heart attack.

Robocop: TV Pilot is stupid. But... in a good way.

I was in Grouchos the other day and I saw the pilot for the Robocop TV series. TV series based off movies are almost always terrible compared to the film, so I thought it would be a good thing to moan about on this blog. But, shockingly, I was wrong.

It is stupid though. Very stupid.
-The main actor couldn't look less like Robocop from the films.
-They changed the names of half the characters due to rights issues, which I don't understand because they didn't have the rights to names, but there's clips from the films in the show, so they had the rights to that? Seems a bit odd.
-There are two annoying kids as bad as the one from Rob 3, but they're in the show far less than the film.
-OCP, the villainous corporation from the films are just shown as a bit stupid, not paying attention to one of their misguided scientists.
-There's a bunch of very 90s street kids who say stuff like "complete the square" and "eat my shorts" which makes this very dated.
-Half the actors play this like the first two films, so seriously and realistic. But then the other half ham it up so bad they might as well be in Batman and Robin.
-Theres a very Batman villian who had a chemical accident and hates Rob.
-Rob gets shot by a rocket and dies. For like the 90th time.
-It's a very mixed tone. It's shot like the films, so it seems dark and gritty, but the action and dialogue is very family friendly, except for one really disturbing conversation about sexercise. So none of it seems to match up.
-And the final and most annoying point for me. Robocop never shoots anyone. To make it family friendly, the bad guys can kill people, but Rob never does. Which just doesn't sit right with me. Robocop has probably the highest bodycount of anyone on film except maybe Rambo. And it just seems odd that he never shoots anyone. He even killed people in Robocop 3, which was supposed to be kid friendly. I dunno, it might be nitpicking, but I just don't like it.

Ok, maybe it had a lot of problems. It wasn't very good. But it wasn't horrible. It was well made, well shot and sets the scene for a TV series pretty well. Although the story was a bit silly and some of the actors were terrible, it was all good fun. It was based on a rejected draft for Robocop 2, which shows, because it's not as good as 2, but it's not a horrifying mess like 3. I enjoyed sitting through it at least. After some of Robocop branded shite I've watched, this wasn't the best, but it definately wasn't the worst.



*The plot's about a computer that controls everything in the city built by an evil OCP scientist. Also the plot of Robocop: Prime Directives, brought out years after this. So Prime Directives wasn't even original. Another nail in that coffin. I really hate those films.

Visit Scotland. But not Dundee.

I was in the cinema the other day doing my patriotic duty and going to see Your Highness. It wasn't very good. But while I was waiting for it to start there was the usual set of car, perfume and film adverts, and this time a Visit Scotland ad. This first struck me as a bit odd since I was in Scotland so it was pretty difficult for me not to go to it. But obviously this was because Cineworld is a chain, and the people in charge of what adverts to show are idiots so show the same everywhere.

So i was sitting watching it, and it showed Edinburgh Castle, The Royal Mile, Glasgow, Ayr, Inverness, Aberdeen, Stirling and even festivals in Stonehaven. It seemed like a pretty good and balanced advert for my country. Good mix of monuments and musuems and folk traditions and festivals, and it showed a wide variety of places, some wee villages and every city. And then it stuck me. It didn't have every city. It had the biggest (Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberdeen), and the smallest (Stirling, Inverness). But it was missing one. Dundee. My home town. This wouldn't have bothered me if more than one city was missed or if Dundee was the least important. But it's the middle in size and importance, so it must have been a conscious decision by the filmmaker not to include it. This annoys me.

I'm a big fan of my city. But most people will admit that even though it's got parts which no-one would ever visit, it has it's good features. They could've shown the Discovery, or The Steeple if they ever got the kids to clear off the lawn, or Broughty Ferry Castle, or it's waterfront. There's nothing particularly special, but neither is there anything special in Inverness and they had a shot of a random street there. So they could've included Dundee, got people to visit. Maybe the filmmaker hates Dundee, maybe his boss had a bad experiance here, or maybe they just wanted to piss me off, but i really can't work out why they wouldn't have it. So here's the today's moral. I love Dundee and i'm sure tourists would too, don't make the decision not to inform then yourself tourist board. It's not the best but it's a hell of a lot better than some places.

Leaving School.

Dougie asked me what it was like having left school. I told him this tale:

Imagine you were in the bible. I'm like Adam. And Eden is my life. And school is like the apple. And now I've left I don't eat it. And so I stay in Eden and the whole story is wrong. But it's great fun.


I'm not sure what that means. I was very drunk on OVD, because I live in the 1900s. But I think it means I like having left. Maybe.

Robocop: Prime Directive's stupid. Actually no, it's just shite.

I can’t do it. I could to tell you about this Robocop TV spin-off. I could tell you about the stupid things that happen in it. A man with an obviously fake moustache being made into a second Robocop. Rob’s son turning up as a boring executive. Robocop being secondary to the story and getting beat up every 5 minutes. Rob’s face looking like he’s about 90 years old. Terrible acting. About 2 pieces of music. Rob disguised by wearing a cloak. And this guy as a serious villain:




It’s got more ridiculous things in it than... well Robocop 2. Not 3. Never 3. So that means it’s at least funny? But, no. It’s just sooo boring. It’s a set of 4 films with enough plot for 1. There’s so much padding and repeated fights that it’s almost completely unwatchable. I hate Robocop 3. It’s a travesty. But at least it was watchable. I think Rob fighting ninjas is awful, but I wouldn’t turn away an opportunity to watch that. But Prime Directives are just dull. Maybe it would be good if half of it was cut out, but that’s not the point. As it is, no-one except for an idiot, a hardcore Robocop fan, or me could sit through it. Any normal person would turn it off. Even I, who watched it just to make fun of it had to stop it every 20 minutes to do something else to stop my brain shutting down. So I won’t make fun of anything. It ain’t worth it.


Although:
“Damn cyborgs. Making life tough for the rest of us. Always smashing through doors and blowing up property. Why can’t they use the front door?”
Robocop drives through window.That made me laugh. But so did the Robocop 3 “ghost cop scene”.

1000 views!

It’s been a long and tortuous road but here we are at the 1000 view mark. I’m excited. So are these women who made a cake in celebration of this momentous occasion:
Look at their grins. I hope that’s cause of the pleasure I’ve brought them. Probably not. Probably just the fact they get to eat a huge chocolate cake. Over the last 23 posts we’ve talked about Robocop Fighting Ninjas, shameless plugs for my material on other sites, games I don’t like, things in my life I’ve found to moan about and the worst song ever. Thanks for sticking with me.

Slight problem though. I have no idea what to do for a 1000^th view special. For the first time I’ve been hoping people wouldn’t visit my blog so I’d never have to make anything. I was going to just not do anything and let it slide, but I’m excited about it. So fuck it. Here’s a disappointing list of things I’ve wanted to address but never had the chance on here.

1. CG and The Bass Collective – The name. It comes from the fact most of my best friends are bassists. Me and Lewis were going to start a band with them all and the Bass Collective was born. And I’m lazy, so I just reused it for my blog name because it sounds cool. Oh, and waughbagbawbag is the nickname of Ruari Morris Waugh. And one day he’s gonna kill me for using it.

2. I apologize for moaning. I don’t think any of my blogs feature me enjoying anything. I do like stuff. I like Men In Black 2 and The Dark Knight, I like meat feast pizza and 100 cans of irn bru, I like The View and Professor Green. But I’m not very good at expressing me liking something. I prefer just to be insulting, and so I talk about shite.

3. Pound Corner hasn’t been forgotten, but I don’t currently have a camera that records in any sort of reasonable quality that I can use on my computer. I asked for one for my birthday. But I got one CD, a 10 journey ticket and £50. My tragic life with no presents.

4. If you know Euan Menzies tell him to let me on his radio show. Nicely. Don’t rape him or anything like that, he’s a very fragile man.

5. This is currently my favourite song. So that gives you an idea of how my brain works:YouTube - We're Back! - Album Version

6. Thanks to the guys at Let The Wookie Win They were what got me into making blogs to begin with. Check them out, they’re funnier than me. Well, than this blog which is horribly self praising and I doubt anyone will remember 5 minutes after they’ve read it.

7. I bought 4 TV movies of Robocop. So the stupidness isn’t over yet. Although if it’s worse than Rob 3, I may kill myself.

8. Check out my youtube channel.

9. I still haven’t forgiven Mariah Carey. Fuck her.

There isn’t a 10. I don’t have that much stuff in my head. So, all that’s left to be said is thank you for reading, keep at it because I’ve got some stuff I got to talk about, here’s to the next 1000 views and of course, PEOPLE NOT PROFIT.

3DS: Disappointing.

I was recently at the 3DS launch. Well I think I was, but there was a chance I was having an alcohol fuel nightmare where I was trapped in Game being pestered by street fighter characters and a huge dog while surrounded by incredibly geeky people. As you might have guessed I didn't really feel at home. I wasn't there to pick up a 3DS, I was just tricked into going along on the pretence of visiting the pub. And I don't like Nintendo anymore. I liked the GBA. The liked the SNES, i even liked the Gamecube. But when they rereleased the GBA with two screens where one was really fiddly and everything was more expensive, and claimed it was a new console called the DS I was upset. I felt betrayed. My GBA was my first gaming experiance and they just abandoned it to die. So I sold it and got a PS2 instead. Fuck Nintendo. Oh and don't get my started on my dislike of the wii. I'm a PS3 man, through and through.

So I wasn't very excited to see Lewis's new 3DS that he made me wait in line for about 29 years for. But I was intreguied about the 3D. It's a gimmick yes, but I've always enjoyed 3D. I mean, the stuff in the cinema is a waste of money because nothing flys at you. I loved the IMAX, i practically shat myself when a dinosaur jumped out the screen and roared at me. But while it's a waste, if someone else pays for it, I'm perfectly happy to muck around with it. So i rolled up my sleeves, turned up the 3D and started a wee game of Street Fighter. And guess what? It was blurry 2D.

You people think it's 3D. But me with my superior brain can see through the pale disguise and see what's really happening. You've been duped. Or just, I have a slight depth pereception problem and so I can't see it. Seems a bit of a rip off making a 3D console that not everyone can see in 3D. So pretty much, the 3DS is a waste if you have problems with your eyes, it just looks blurry and gives you a headache. But it got me thinking. Maybe things do fly out at me in 3D films? Maybe I just can't see them. Have I been wasting my money spending the extra £4 to see Ice Age 3 in 3D when I can't tell when Sid the Sloth is coming to eat me. Have I been tricked? Who knows? Well, I could if I went to the cinema and checked it out. But fuck that.