Monday, 5 December 2011

The Olympic Advert and the sorry state of this december's trailers.

I've just come back from seeing the 2011 remake/prequel thing version of The Thing. See what I did there? Anyway, I'll talk about that on it's own later, because it was already pretty shit without the pain I endured beforehand. So, I went to the Odeon, and I was, well not late, but not early enough to catch the shitty tv adverts. So far, so good. I fucking hate them. It came up with a notice "the following adverts are suitable for the feature presentation" or something like that, and so you'd think, ah here come the trailers. And they did. Eventually. First though we had... this.

Well, we didn't just have that. It had a really children's story voiceover by Stephen Fry and after the part we see above there was a really shitty montage of the people shown helping bring a bus to the school to replace the library.

Now. Here's the part I start to complain. First, problems with the advert itself. It's terribly animated, the story is stupid (like, the school library get destroyed? who is gonna care about that?), the mascots do nothing except call the athletes so why even have them, although it has athletes we don't know who they are and they don't really do anything that makes the olympics seem more appealing and just, the mascots are shit. Like really shit. So basically it would be a good advert if it was for a shop or a bank or something, but for the olympics that the government's putting all this money into to advertise, well I'm not impressed.

My main problem however isn't the advert in itself. Yeah it's shitty, but I don't care about the olympics. The problem... why is there a fucking stupid olympics advert at the cinema? I see enough shitty tv adverts I don't need this one as well. One, it's not suitable. I'm going to see a horror movie, I don't want to have the mood ruined by a cheesy colourful patronising advert for the olympics. I don't care about them, what is it even advertising? That they're happening? I don't live under a rock, I fucking know already. That I can get tickets? No, because they've already all been sold. That I can watch it on tv? No, cause it's not for 6/7 months so it's too early for that. I don't get what the point is. All it seems to be is an advert to be like "look at us, we've got the olympics!" but everyone at the odeon already knows, and would rather the government spent their money on something useful than adverts telling us stuff we already know. This really annoyed me, because bad adverts are bad enough, but this one didn't even have a point to it, so it was just wasting my time for no reason.

I was put into a great mood by that piece of shit, then I got even more to love by the trailers I got. First, one for an exorcism film. I can't be bothered going into detail, but it's the same shit we've seen a million times before, it looked unbelievably unoriginal and quite poorly made, there was nothing about the trailer that made me want to see the film. Second was about invisible aliens invading Russia. Invisible aliens? Come on, that's such a cheap trick. The trailer ironically only showed the aliens, and it gave no idea what the story'll be and whether there's anything worth seeing in it, something that gives me the impression that there really won't be. And the third and final trailer was one for the new Alvin and the Chipmunks film. It was really shit. I don't even need to explain why, you understand. It just upset me that we got so few trailers and none of them looked good.

Oh and there was a muppets orange advert. I liked that.

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