Friday 2 December 2011

Robocop’s stup-wait no… Cyborg Cop, no... oh for fuck sake. It's Cyborg Cop II.

The last time I did one of these it was almost what you could call a review. I can’t do that for this one. Because… erm… I fell asleep during it. Yep. That happened. Don’t blame me. I was tired and it wasn’t very interesting.

From what I remember they commit the Robocop 2 sin of making the cyborg out of an evil criminal. That goes about as well as you’d expect. Well actually, it went well to begin with, because they had a control device to override the cyborg. Oh dear, Rob 2, you’ve been outdone by your rip-off. Not good. But basically everything’s going hunky dory, then the main scientist who has a control device, takes it off to have sex. Now that’s fine. BUT, he does it right in front of the evil cyborg, who has a mind of his own and that mind is of an evil killer. So obviously he takes the remote and now he’s free and can control the other cyborgs. Like seriously, how did the scientist not see that coming? He deserved what he got for being wildly irresponsible. And then, even though all the other scientists seem to have the same control device, which has a kill switch in it, they are all overpowered and surrender their remotes. Why did they use them to kill the evil cyborg? I don’t know. That’s how he gets beaten at the end.

David Bradley is back, big woop. I mean, he’s good enough in this, but it’s nothing to get excited by. The kid’s around, but I don’t remember him doing anything and the girlfriend from the last film is gone, but we have a new one, so it’s all good. Really though, except for a dull proper cop bit at the start (WOW! There’s a real cop in Cyborg Cop! Pity he’s not a cyborg though), I don’t remember anything else. Now, you might think I’d being lazy not watching it again. You’d be right. But I don’t want to and you can’t make me, so tough. It’s stupid and it’s kind of dull, not as good as the first one.

Talking of not as good as the first one… that’s like the actual Robocop films. Now, it would be too much of a coincidence for there to be a third Cyborg Cop film without the main lead actor of the first two and a major drop in quality, wait, you know where I’m going with this. Yes, there is. I’ll watch it, but if the Cyborg Cop gets in a pimp mobile or fights robot ninjas then, I’m out. I’ll turn it off. You’ve been warned CC3.
It also has a really misleading cover, because the Cyborg from the first one is dead.
So the tagline's wrong and he shouldn't be on the cover.

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