I don’t know what to say. This film blew my mind. It was just so stupid, I don’t think there are words for it. The robot ninjas aren’t even the worst part. Well, maybe they are. But they’re not the only bad bit. Let me explain in a list or I’ll just ramble like a maniac.
THE TOP 10 STUPIDEST THINGS IN ROBOCOP 3
10. Ignoring the last 2 films storyline.
This one’s a small point, but it just annoys me. The last two films were all about the police being on strike. In this one, they weren’t. And there is not one line of explanation. You just have to accept it. Oh and right at the end of the last film Rob tells us he’s gonna get the evil boss of OCP. This film... he’s not in it.
9. Rob’s partner’s killed.
Rob joins a team of rebels against OCP because OCP kill his partner. And it’s supposed to be a kid friendly film, I have no idea why they killed her. Maybe she was just so disgusted by being in this film she had to escape somehow.
8. Agent Z
The boss of the bad guys is Z from Men in Black. That’s all I can say. He’s Z. I can’t handle him as anyone else, I keep expecting him to get a phone call from Michael Jackson.
7. Cops walking out
The cops get asked to throw people out of their homes. So instead of doing something sensible like telling Z to fuck himself and keep doing their jobs, they go off and fight alongside the rebels in a street war. I think having a big gunfight in the street MIGHT be illegal. They should know, they’re the cops. Who were they fighting, well...
6. Nazis
Yep. Z gets mercenaries to work for him. But... they’re just Nazis in beige. You can’t deny it. Just look at this guy:
THE TOP 10 STUPIDEST THINGS IN ROBOCOP 3
10. Ignoring the last 2 films storyline.
This one’s a small point, but it just annoys me. The last two films were all about the police being on strike. In this one, they weren’t. And there is not one line of explanation. You just have to accept it. Oh and right at the end of the last film Rob tells us he’s gonna get the evil boss of OCP. This film... he’s not in it.
9. Rob’s partner’s killed.
Rob joins a team of rebels against OCP because OCP kill his partner. And it’s supposed to be a kid friendly film, I have no idea why they killed her. Maybe she was just so disgusted by being in this film she had to escape somehow.
8. Agent Z
The boss of the bad guys is Z from Men in Black. That’s all I can say. He’s Z. I can’t handle him as anyone else, I keep expecting him to get a phone call from Michael Jackson.
7. Cops walking out
The cops get asked to throw people out of their homes. So instead of doing something sensible like telling Z to fuck himself and keep doing their jobs, they go off and fight alongside the rebels in a street war. I think having a big gunfight in the street MIGHT be illegal. They should know, they’re the cops. Who were they fighting, well...
6. Nazis
Yep. Z gets mercenaries to work for him. But... they’re just Nazis in beige. You can’t deny it. Just look at this guy:
He is clearly a bond villain. Sorry McDaggett, you’re in the wrong film. Sean Connery’s in the next studio.
5. Girl who can hack ED-209
For some reason this is a kids film, maybe to sell toys. But as anyone who isn’t very good at film making knows, every kids film needs a kid who’s smarter than the adults. So we have a little girl who can hack computers. And she just happens to bump into the rebels. And she makes the bad-ass robot ED-209 from the first film, say he’s loyal as a puppy and do whatever she tells it to. I could explain how this is so wrong and ruins the scare of ED and a little girl CANT hack one of the highest tech pieces of equipment the bad guys have... but I’d rather just say the girl reminds me of Anakin Skywalker. An annoying child who’s only there to appeal to kids, but they hate him too cause he’s a dick.
4. Punks
Rob is in the streets and he gets attacked by a gang. Who are punks. Which is ok, punks can be gangs. But seriously, these guys are fucking out of their minds. And rob takes it. He just stands there and lets them set him on fire without any resistance. It’s one of the most awkward action scenes ever. Go watch it:
Yeh. It’s in French.
3. Rob with a jetpack
This is where I have to stop making any kind of comments. I’m sorry but... There is nothing to say. These last 3 are just so stupid I can only show you them and hope you understand how ridiculous they really are. Here’s a picture of Robocop flying. He also has a gun that can fire a smart bomb. I’m dumbfounded.
2. Rob driving a pimpmobile
This is funny. I think it was meant to be. So I think I can just about forgive it. It’s still unbelievably stupid and out of place in a Robocop so it’s definitely number 2. But, you have to laugh when you see Robocop driving a pimpmobile in a car chase, so at least it entertained me.
Skip to 3.40 in this video to watch Rob have an argument with a pimp. Don’t watch the whole video, you might kill yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbbuevgWKiM
1. Robot Ninjas
Robocop was a great film. Robocop 2 was not bad. But 3 killed the franchise. It meant there was never a fourth film and I can never really watch the first two again without thinking of that time Rob fought a robot ninja. A fucking robot ninja. It’s Robocop vs a Ninja. Well, not just a Ninja a fucking Robot Ninja. I don’t think it can get any more stupid. I feel like my brain has died. There is nothing to say. This film is irredeemably stupid. It’s just... FUCKIN NINJAS. There is no more to say.
Oh, and Anakin girl can hack them too. I fucking hate this film.
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