I just got back to my house. I've not had a good night.
A night out should be fun, it should involve everyone having a laugh getting wasted and going home at half 4 the next afternoon. But I keep being faced with another sort of night out. The one caused by me having to go home early for work the next day.
It starts off with the before out drinking. It's good, and actually gets you in the mood to go out. But then it starts fucking up when you hit the pub. Everyone else is drinking, and they seem to be having more and more fun while you stay the same. This begins to make you think you're having a bad time and before long you can't stand to be around all these people having fun while you're miserable so you make your excuses and leave. Then you reach the bus stop. And there is NEVER a bus. Whatever time you get out the pub, by this late at night there is never a bus for about half an hour. So you start to shiver with the cold and get really bored cause you havent even brought anything to entertain yourself, because you hoped you would betray work and go out. But you haven't so you're stuck. The bus stop fills up with people and all of them start to annoy you. There's the freaks who just hang around in town on their own at this time, giving you creepy stares. Theres the people just finished work, who transfer their stress and just make you more annoyed. And worst of all there's the folk who've gone to the pub early and are wasted on the bus. They shout at each other and laugh and joke, and fuck off. I'm having a shit time, stop being so happy. It just makes me angry.
So the bus arrives and you get on. So theres still the annoying dickheads bothering you, but it's really boring sitting on a bus alone. So you get your phone out and start texting people you dont talk to normally, or your ex, or just people you shouldnt text. The bus arrives at your stop and the one beacon of hope, the chinese, where you can get chips (an instant remedy) is closed. So you have to trudge up the road alone in the dark with no food and nothing to do, just getting steadily less bothered before you stop in the middle of the street and wonder why you should bother to carry on and not just sit on the ground and sleep there. And you wonder if the night was worth it. And the answer is always no.
ps. replace you with me and this was my night tonight. the emotions are still pretty raw.